9 months on…

I’ve been itching to start writing again, but as it has been so long, I just didn’t know where to start. I was also contemplating why I was writing, who am I writing for? Who do I want to read the blog? I read why other people blog, I read new blogs which made me want to write more.

So what am I writing for? I’m writing to offload, to share experiences and thoughts.

Who am I writing for? This is a funny one. I don’t really want people I know to read it, which I know sounds odd but I guess I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to be judged by the people I love. Maybe I have issues but that’s the way it is! So if you do know me, don’t judge me!

I have decided to start at the beginning. I last wrote on April the 2nd and I was itching for my baby to arrive. It eventually did arrive on April 20th. A boy, Dougie Deiniol, weighing 8lbs 15 at about 9:45 pm (I think… who cares!!)

The birth story is a whole different post, but here is his life so far…

 

..

When you’re ready…..

There has been a slight famine in my blog posts recently, I just haven’t felt the need to write. I have been quite busy with work, manic short terms and being heavily pregnant that writing has been the last thing on my mind. However I am back with 2 posts up my sleeve!

I am now 38 weeks pregnant, due next week. NEXT WEEK!!! And I can safely say that the past 6 weeks have been tough. So tough that at 33 weeks I thought that bubs was on its way. I have been in hospital twice, missed my last day of work and generally felt pretty rubbish. I think this is because I worked up to 36 weeks, well, officially I am still not on maternity leave, I start on the 8th, when school goes back after the holidays. So working part time, with a 2 very nearly 3 year old and a large ish bump took it’s toll. But now,  now I am making up for it!

I have been having afternoon naps, watching films most afternoons, enjoying chocolate and have been for a manicure. I am making sure I rest before this bundle of joy arrives. The bag is packed, the cot prepared and the clothes washed we are all now just waiting.

Life seems to be on hold while we wait. We don’t want to go anywhere or do anything we are all quite content with being boring as we know that life will be turned upside down in a matter of days/weeks. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want baby to arrive. I am desperate for it to come. Every niggle or twinge makes me wonder what the next few hours may bring, every time I go to bed I wonder what I will wake up to. I have started adding tobasco to everything I eat, walking everywhere and down Raspberry Leaf Tea as if my life depends on it. Yet it makes me wonder why? Why do we interfere? Why are we/am I so impatient? Nothing will make this baby come sooner than it is meant to, no matter how hard I pray.

There are so many scriptures I could quote right now about God having a plan, a plan to prosper and not to harm (Jeremiah 29) or God knitting us together in our mothers womb, knowing when we sit and when we rise (Psalm 139) There is only one ‘person’ who knows when this baby is coming and that is God. I just have to sit back and trust which at the moment is the hardest thing ever.

Meanwhile I am going to continue to rest and continue to wipe everything down with Dettol wipes. This baby will be here in 22 days if not before…… Bring it on!

38 weeks!

When a craving becomes a need…

I posted back in October about the lack of comfort I had in my life (https://alittlepieceofjo.wordpress.com/2012/10/10/comfort/). This was due to being in the  first trimester of pregnancy and not fancying anything, seeing Oscar content with his snuggle made me jealous, I longed for the comfort of a cup of tea.

Now I am at the other end of the spectrum, cravings!

When I was pregnant with Oscar I didn’t have cravings as such, I just had a deep want for something and once I had eaten it my ‘craving’ was satisfied. This happened with egg sandwiches and pickled onion monster munch.

Recently I have really craved a McDonald’s or Burger King burger. I was also a little repulsed by the fact that I wanted these so much. I tried to satisfy the craving my having a ‘gourmet’ burger in a gastro pub but it really didn’t hit the spot, or even come close.

So last weekend whilst on my way back from London I decided to satisfy the desire for a plastic burger.

I arrived at Paddington station with half an hour to kill. I had had a lovely weekend with my sister and the girls I went to Brazil with so I needed a perfect way to top off the weekend and make the journey more bearable. First I had the most expensive wee ever… 30p! Then I chose a magazine (which I find quite tricky!), picked up a 99p cheeseburger and a chai latte. Bliss. I wondered over to the benches in front of the screens which were going to tell me which platform I needed to be on. I imagined sitting on the bench discretely eating my burger when all of a sudden there was a flurry of activity as people started making their way to my train. I stood up, joined the rush and found my seat on the busy train.

Now I started to worry… I had someone who was meant to sit next to me, and all around me, what were they going to think of me eating a McDonald’s burger? I was so embarrassed that I opened the burger and ate it as quickly as I could. It was amazing. I could have easily had another straight after. I couldn’t believe how good it tasted!

Another ‘craving’ I have had is chocolate. At break times and in the evening I really feel like I want need Dairy Milk, I can’t get enough of it!

So the thing is, when does a want become a need? I definitely don’t need a burger or chocolate but at the moment it really feels like I do. Is it because my body is lacking in something that only Dairy Milk and burgers can give it?

According to Babycentre.com “There’s no scientific explanation for food cravings. There’s no data saying that what a woman craves is related to something her body or her baby needs, and there’s no data to support that typical pregnancy food cravings are harmful, either,” explains Brown.

So that is helpful! I basically have to find a healthy alternative to burgers and chocolate, I know that one square of dark chocolate and a healthier bean burger definitely won’t hit the spot!

Nesting…

It seems that my body is well and truly getting me ready for the birth of our next baby.

If I get woken in the middle of the night the rest of the nights sleep is doomed!!! Last night I was stirred when Mr G came to bed at about 11:30, then the dog started to bark, Oscar had a little cry and the cat wanted to be let out. That was it, my brain went into overdrive and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I wouldn’t mind if there was something really important keeping me awake like world peace or poverty but wardrobes do not deserve 3 hours of my precious sleep time.

My mind was racing about the lack of space and how good organisation is the key. I know it will be fine but despite having 3 months left I feel the need to be more prepared. With number one the nursery gets prepared, the cot assembled, drawers filled with tiny clothes but with number 2 everything will remain in the loft until the day arrives.

I think this nesting need was instigated by the midwife last week. She measured my bump and said I was measuring too big, not big enough to worry but big enough to say I might need to see the consultant earlier (I am under consultant care due to difficulties with Oscar). This made me anxious that I may have to have another c section. I really don’t want another section not with a 3 year old running wild. Don’t get me wrong if I have to have one then I totally trust the judgement of the team but if I was to have my way I would go au naturel. Anyway I can’t do anything about it and as along as my little bean is fit and healthy who cares how it comes out!

So as you can imagine today has been a day of sorting. I feel that today is my last official day of holiday, which I guess it is but at the end of my holiday I forget that I work part time and have 4 days off a week (which is today’s ‘thing to be thankful for’) so in 3 days time I will have 4 days off again, plenty of sorting time! Firstly I s

 

orted Oscars wardrobe and room, then went for lunch at a soft play  followed by sorting the garden to discover lots of new spring shoots and finally sorted the spare room wardrobe. So all in all a productive day with lists made to prevent another sleepless night!!

Me at 26 weeks.

 

 

Things to be thankful for.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this in my last post but throughout 2013 I am going to be thinking about something to be thankful for every day.

I was inspired by this post from the beloved Pintrest http://www.iloveitallwithmonikawright.com/2010/12/get-ready.html to create a little journal of things that I am grateful for every day.

Remembering to do it every day may be tricky… I couldn’t complete the photo 52 and that’s only one photo a week so how on earth am I going to cope with remembering to write something down that I am thankful for every day?!?! But I figure it’s the remembering to be thankful part that is important not the writing it down.

My aim is to write what I am thankful for on any piece of paper I can put my hands on. Here are a few images of what I have done so far.

This is the front cover, excuse the peg, I am planning on doing something about that!

 

I had a midwife appointment, Graham had a doctors check up and my mum had an MRI on the same day, the NHS is amazing!

Yesterday as we were walking the dog as we do every day I was thinking about what motivates people who haven’t got dogs to leave the house in the morning (I’m talking holidays and weekends here not days when we actually have to go to work!). I think I would struggle to leave the house and not spend money. Having a dog means we have to go out for at least 10 minutes to allow him to do his business, get some fresh air and have a run. This is what often shapes our weekends or holidays. On New Years Day we went for a lovely walk around one of my most favourite places in the world, yesterday we were romping through woodland, today we are meeting friends to amble up a hill. What would I be doing if we didn’t have a dog?

I knew I had to show my thankfulness for the dog. The reason why I struggled to do this is a few weeks a go he made me cry. I had just cleaned the porch from all the tail splashes of mud when we went out in the rain only for him to lie down in the biggest mud bath you have ever seen. All my scrubbing was wasted as he was just going to leave his mark as soon as he walked in the front door. Having a dog when it does nothing but rain is a complete and utter nightmare, well it is if you want a clean house!

Also since Oscar arrived my priorities have changed. I hate the fact that on the days when Mr G works away I have to walk the dog before and after work adding at least 10 minutes stress to my day that has barely begun.

I hate the fact we have to hoover every day to remove all the hair he has shed.

So you see I have a total love hate relationship with Thomas the dog. I love that we get to explore the countryside most days yet I hate the mess he makes when we are home!

I have tried to find a photo pf the dog over the past few days but surprise surprise I can’t find one, so here is one of my favourites of him from the summer.

Reflecting…

At church this morning we were thinking about the year that has been, the year that is to come and listening to God. Well actually that is what I was thinking about, the sermon was about Joseph and his obedience to God. But the songs we sang and the words that were spoken all contributed to my reflection.

Every Christmas my brother will ask what the highs and lows of the year have been. I hate this question yet I love being in the midst of reflection. I hate it because I feel under pressure to come up with a good answer. My brother will come up with something deep, my sister with something cool and I will say something dull! Yet even though my answer is dull I am extremely happy with the way my year has turned out. Without sounding too positive, there have been so many more highs than lows. This blog has helped me to look back on my year and to remember all the great things that have happened.

The sun in April/May was amazing, our family holiday and the memories of going on a bus, plane and train are unforgettable, conceiving our second child is a blessing, coming best in show was great…. the list goes on. The things that have got me down are the terrible two’s and potty training! I have loved 2012 and am praying that 2013 will be even better.

I know it is going to be challenging what with a new born entering the family but I am praying that I can stay positive and keep focused.

This morning the preacher was discussing Josephs righteousness. Joseph was told that the woman he was due to marry was pregnant and the baby wasn’t his. Joseph didn’t want to publicly ridicule her or go on Jeremy Kyle for a paternity test, instead he listened to God and trusted the angel (Matthew 1:18-25)

I find this amazing partly because I find it so hard to listen and trust. Then to make matters worse the preacher asked us to take a minute to focus on 1 Corinthians 13.

This is a very popular passage that is read at a lot of weddings. What he asked us to do though was something I have never thought of before. We had to read the passage replacing the word ‘love’ with our name. So instead of

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We were to read

Jo is patient, Jo is kind. Jo  does not envy, Jo does not boast, Jo is not proud.  Jo does not dishonor others, Jo is not self-seeking, Jo is not easily angered, Jo keeps no record of wrongs. Jo does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  Jo always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This was tough. Am I all of these things? Most definitely not. But the three that really struck a chord were ‘Jo always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres’. I don’t do this. I have my own agenda and if things don’t go to my plan I can get quite cross. But I know that God has the perfect plan for me and like Joseph I need to listen and trust. This is my prayer for 2013.

The next thing to talk to me this morning was the song ‘All honour and blessing and power belongs to you’ I have had so many blessings this year and I believe they are all down to my faith and for that I am so grateful.

So to sum up I am so thankful for the year 2012 has been and am praying that in 2013 I learn to trust, hope and persevere.

Here’s to an amazing 2013.

(To see a summary of my year take a look at Photo 52….. it went a bit to pot after April but the photos still sum up my year!!)

Creativity is for life, not just for Christrmas!

As you may know I love this time of year. Not just because of the pretty lights and decorations but because it gives me inspiration to create.

I’m not sure if I had said this before but at Christmas I feel I have a reason to be creative. Even though I love crafting throughout the year at Christmas the juices well and truly flow!

Here are a few photos of this weeks crafting outcomes.

Here is the full advent calendar I wrote about in my last post. The pockets that look empty have a little piece of paper in with the recipients initial on as the gift is too big for the pocket!

 

My mum showed me how to do this with red dogwood wreath. It was very simple yet I think the outcome is very effective. Not sure how I’m going to decorate it yet. I will be sure to post a photo when complete.

Every year Trinity Cheltenham (the church we went to until recently) holds and creative evening for women and I love it. A gaggle of women gather around tables to craft all evening. You could make beautiful wreaths, orange and clove pomander, jewellery the list goes on. There is a short message, mulled wine, mince pies and a bit of the Buble in the background.

This year I decorated a candle, made a cranberry heart (which always tests my patience) and a felt pom pom.

 

 

So as you can see I have my craft on and this weekend will see the cards written and decorations up.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…….

Preparing the way……

It’s 5:45 on a Saturday morning and I’m awake. I shouldn’t be, the rest of the house are snuggled in to their beds, warm and cosy. I however was first woken by my little darling climbing into bed next to me crying because he had lost his snuggle.

He was safely back in his bed when the dog decided to, quite rightly bark at a neighbour dragging a suitcase on wheels past the house. I know they are useful and practical and I have used them, but I hate suitcases on wheels!!

This long awaited post isn’t going to be about what I would put into Room 101, it’s about preparation for the festivities that are approaching.

Once the dog had settled by head was spinning with gifts still to buy and jobs to do, there was nothing else for it except to get up, write a list and blog about it.

I love preparing for Christmas. My preparations tend to start at half term when I make the Christmas cake with my mum and Oscar. Last year we did it in our pyjamas early in the morning, this year we were much more civilized and made it fully dressed! I love the fact that this could become a tradition as I do not feel confident in following mum’s instructions alone, especially as I curdled the cake as she was looking over my shoulder.

I have Christmas candles burning most evenings and fairy lights glistening. Oscar and I have started to make our Christmas cards and mini decorations for family and as one fellow blogger wrote, all with the help of Pintrest!

 I have also tried to make my very own pot purri. I thought this would save loads of money on smelly candles and would look pretty. I found the idea here http://pinterest.com/pin/122793527310940762/ and like many Pintrest crafts it didn’t come out quite as I was hoping! I collected the fir cones weeks ago, covered them with glue and sprinkled them with cinnamon  crushed cloves, nutmeg and glitter. The result is that they look pretty but you have to get up, close and personal with the fir cones to appreciate the aroma!

Last year I made decorations to give to immediate members of the family. I thought this would be a lovely tradition, each year make a little something to hang from my boy. We made salt dough stars last year. They were heavy, big and covered in glitter. This year I have tried to recreate another pintrest favourite (http://pinterest.com/pin/122793527310797705/) Once again mine do not look that pretty but I much preferred the recipe so will be using that one again.   

                                                                              When Oscar was a baby I made an advent calendar  again with mum looking over my shoulder! I loved making this and I love getting it out each year and filling it with gifts. My mum started the tradition of filling her hand made advent calendar with little gifts for the family. You would never know who it was going to be for or what it would be. It was a given that I would get the gift on the 20th for my birthday, as it was a given that I would blow the Advent candle out but the other days were a lottery!

I have started this in my own home. The cats received new collars last year and people who are staying with us throughout Advent may also find a little gift in there. I love this tradition, it’s a little like a stocking before Christmas! I will post a photo once it is up.

All this preparation is great, I love it. I love the build up, I love how I seem to be more creative. But at some point I have to rein them in. I have been desperate for a glass of mulled wine (despite my pregnant belly) and would love a home made mince pie. But I have decided that these should wait at least until December!

I think it’s great that people get excited about Christmas. But I do question why people get excited. Why do I get excited? Not only do I get excited about the above, I get excited about seeing family and friends, I get excited about the fact without Christmas I wouldn’t be who I am.

This has led me to thinking about what I want my children to believe. Last night as Oscar bedtime story I read him the nativity story. I want him to realise that we are celebrating Jesus’  birthday and that for us this is very important. I don’t want him to get wrapped up in the ‘I wants’ (which I know is a massive ask and some of you with older children will snigger at) I want him to see the joy in giving not just receiving.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving yesterday and what a great celebration that is. How amazing is it to have a day just to be thankful for all that we have?

Christmas should be like Thanksgiving. I’d love to think that all of our preparation and gift giving was to say thank you to all those that we love. Maybe it is but we just need to change the way we are thinking.

Just a little thought to ponder on this Saturday morning……..

Comfort

I’ve been thinking quite a lot about comfort recently all because I have been struggling to find things that comfort me! This seems quite a heavy first sentence to a blog entry considering I haven’t been writing so much recently. I will expand….

I love comfort food. I can’t plan my meals week by week like some people can because I like to have what I fancy. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t got to the shop every day but because I know what is in the cupboards I know what I can make. Recently, however, I haven’t fancied anything. I haven’t even fancied a cup of tea. Now as you may have read in my previous blogs I love a good cup of tea and am a firm believer that a good cup of tea can solve anything. So the fact that a good ol brew wasn’t comforting me was quite frustrating. 

This is all, well mostly in the past now, thankfully, but it was a really hard few weeks for me. I would look at Oscar going to bed with his snuggle and crave that instant comfort that he got from the rag. I was jealous of my 2 year old and his stinky old t shirt. Thankfully I knew why I had lost my appetite, I am 13 week pregnant!!! Part of me didn’t mind that a cup of tea really wasn’t on my agenda but the other part just wanted that comfort, I was feeling sick and wanted to feel better!

This pregnancy has so far been very different to my last one. With Oscar it was a breeze, I barely felt sick, occasionally nauseous but that was it. I loved it. This one, I have felt so sick, I have gunky eyes, I’m spotty and have gone off tea!!! I don’t want to complain because I realise I am so blessed to have this little bean growing inside of me but man it is making me suffer!! I know the ‘blooming’ stage is just round the corner…. I hope it hurries up.

I had my scan last week and it was amazing to see the baby actually there. I was very nervous beforehand as despite feeling sick I thought maybe I had made the whole thing up. But I hadn’t it was there… I have a new life growing inside of me.

It’s not a great scan photo but for those of you who know I’m sure you will be able to see the little bean.

While I was at the hospital last week I had to see the consultant. I am a little complicated case…. With Oscar I had the infection Strep B:

“Group B streptococcus (GBS) is a type of bacteria that is the most common cause of life-threatening infections in newborn babies in the UK” taken from BBC health.

This means that when you go into labour you have to have antibiotics every four hours because the baby can become infected in the birth canal. They don’t test for Strep B because it is very random, if 3 ladies were tested, 1 lady would have the infection during the first test and a different lady during the 2nd test. I was being tested for something else which is how they found it and now they will always treat me as if I have it.

My body gave up progressing in labour at 5cms, so I had a c-section (Oscar was also back to back and had fetal distress) and as a result I lost a lot of blood and had to have 2 pints put back in.

With all this taken into consideration I will have more midwives appointments and see the consultant again at 34 weeks to assess whether I can give birth naturally or will have to have another section.

In an ideal world I will give birth naturally but if I have to have a section then that’s what needs to happen! Whatever is best for the baby.

I need to go to bed, now that my news is out there I will be sure to blog again!!

What a day!

The day began with blankets, toast, tea and Ratatouille. It was perfect. As concentration started to lapse we started to think about the monster. I put all the vegetables on the table and merely suggested to Oscar where the different veggies should go. I had an image in my head of what I wanted the monster to look like and I can safely say we did a good job. I know that in the future I will have to step back and let the little man do the creating while I supervise but this time I could let him loose with cocktail sticks…. they are far too dangerous!!!

With the monster done, the photo backed and the lemon drizzle seeming pretty moist I took them down to the show. I got so excited at seeing the rest of the competition but pretty embarrassed that Oscar’s creation was clearly heavily influenced by me! But now it was all out of my hands.

Judging was between 11 and 1, doors were open to the public at 1, prize giving at 4. Mum was with us but wanted to leave by 3 so we all braved the rain to see our fate.

I couldn’t believe what I saw…

The comments for the cake were ‘classic lemon drizzle, a great effort’. Apologies for the blurry photo.

I knew the lemon drizzle would have stiff competition so didn’t expect anything, as the lovely Mr G said before we left ‘you will be competing against yummy mummies who have perfected this recipe over many years…’ Thanks for the vote of confidence there!

The photo was taken after a long trek up a local hill a few weeks ago on my phone. The view was amazing and Oscar seemed to comply with a cheeky smile. It certainly wasn’t planned or posed for. Sheer luck.

As for the monster… we know about the monster.

When I told my sister the news she replied saying ‘isn’t it funny the one you put most effort into didn’t get a prize!’ The one I had most fun did and the one which took least effort did the best, it did so well it got Best in Show. BEST IN SHOW!!!

When we went back for the prize giving I was surprised to see my photo had been taken down, I was a little concerned as I didn’t want to lose it. We continued to wander around the stalls for the last time taking in the beautiful handicrafts, homemade produce and scary monsters. My eyes scanned to the raffle table which now was home to the Best in Show goods and prizes.  I couldn’t believe it when I saw my photo there. My photo, hilarious!

I wasn’t actually best in the whole show, just the photography section but still for my first ever country fair… I can’t believe it and don’t ever think I will top it!

I have tweeted Kirstie Allsopp to thank her for her inspiration and think I may have to bake lemon drizzle for school tomorrow!

What a day!